What we mean when we say “I have anxiety”


For most people I talk to, when I tell them I have an anxiety disorder, they nod their head and tell me it’ll be okay. When I tell them, “I’m sorry, I’m having a bad anxiety day, can we reschedule?” They smile and tell me there’s nothing to worry about and if I just get out of bed, I’ll see that everything is fine. When I don’t want to go bar hopping because I know that alcohol only increases my anxious tendencies I hear, “You’re fine. It’ll be fun. Let off some steam!” Meanwhile, my heart is pounding so fast that I’m afraid it may be visibly beating out of my chest. But it isn’t. My head isn’t actually spinning in circles. My eyes are not crossed like my blurred vision indicates. My knees aren’t wobbling along with the trembling muscles fighting the urge to collapse. My face isn’t pale and my eyes aren’t bloodshot. No, on the outside, I look like I do every day. My hair is clean. My clothes match. I am awake, alive, and breathing fine. So nothing is wrong, right? Wrong. That’s the thing about anxiety disorders. We look fine. Of course we look fine. Our legs aren’t broken. Our tongues haven’t been cut out. We aren’t cut or bruised. Because anxiety is not a physical disability. That however, does not make it any less debilitating. Anxiety is a complex disorder and it is nothing to simply smile and nod away. You telling us everything is okay not only doesn’t help us, but it hurts us more because nobody seems to take it seriously. So here are some things I would like you to know about the struggle with anxiety.

1It is not constant.

There are days when we can make it through without having to stop and breathe or pop a Xanax if we are lucky enough to have a prescription. We can smile and laugh. We can be productive and go to work, go out to dinner, go see a movie with our friends. And trust me, I know how difficult it is to understand how we can be fine one day and the next, not be able to get out of bed. That’s just how it is. Which leads me to my next point. 

2. It comes in waves. 

Anxiety is a strange beast. It will let us have some fun for a couple of days and we think, hmm maybe it’s finally left me alone. Then a few days go by and we wake up one morning unable to even think straight because for whatever reason, the beast has once again emerged and there is nothing we can do to stop it from coming because we have woken up to it sitting on our chest smiling as if we are welcoming it home. 

3. It is completely paralyzing. 

I don’t know if this one applies to everyone but I know it is a very big piece of my anxiety disorder. When anxiety hits, I am frozen. I can get up and go through the motions of my day but my brain is elsewhere, held captive by whatever demon is inhabiting me this time. I cannot think about anything except my inability to think or breathe or feel. Let that one sink in. My brain is literally paralyzed; as if it is stuck in some kind of limbo with no doors or windows or exits of any kind. The worst part? I’m completely alone in there.

4. It ruins relationships.

Not just romantic relationships, but a relationship of any kind. Friendships and relationships alike can be destroyed by this silent killer. I have experienced both and it is the most devastating kind of loss. Why? Because it is not our fault. It is a disease that, without the knowledge of how to care for it properly will explode in a matter of months. Eventually, it becomes too much for someone else to carry around with them. If they become close enough to you to experience firsthand the effects of your anxiety and the neediness that comes with having someone who is not a low maintenance friend or significant other….often it becomes too much for them and they sever the ties for their own mental health. And it hurts like hell but you can’t blame them because if you could choose to stay as far away from anxiety as they can, you would in a heartbeat.

5. It makes trust nearly impossible. 

I know it sounds awful to blame trust issues on anxiety but in all honestly, it’s not placing blame, it’s placing responsibility. Anxiety will never fail to make you think the worst of every situation. If someone doesn’t answer your text well then that’s it, they no longer like you. If someone doesn’t text you first, they don’t think about you. Someone is busy? Forget it. They just have better things to do with their time than spend it with you. I sound ridiculous right? Welcome to the dark side AKA the anxiety life. We do not have cookies, sorry, but can I interest you in crippling loneliness at a table for one? No? Didn’t think so. 

6. We DO NOT want this.

Do you really think that if we had a choice we would choose to let down the people who love us because we can’t handle a simple outing? Do you think that we want to be so afraid to get out of bed that instead we call in to work and cry to Grey’s anatomy for 13 hours in a row and don’t eat because the kitchen means leaving the safety of our covers? Probably not. Would you choose that? Doubtful. So when you tell us that we’re being dramatic and just looking for attention, take a second and think about what you’re saying to us. Nobody, I repeat NOBODY, wants this. 

7. We wish every day that we weren’t like this.

Not a day goes by that I don’t have that little voice in the back of my head telling me just how great my life could be if I wasn’t this way. If I could just not have anxiety, everything would be okay. I could actually be happy and trust that the happiness was not a joke or a trick; that the other shoe was not in fact, ever going to drop. There is no other shoe. But that’s not how we are. To us, no matter how many times we tell ourselves that everything is okay and we are being ridiculous, nothing is ever just “alright”. In fact, even the smallest things are a disaster. And we hate ourselves for being that way. Again, let that sink in. Imagine hating yourself because of something that is a permanent resident of your brain. Not a pretty thought huh? Most of ours aren’t.

8. There are treatments and we are willing to try them all.

Almost everyone who is diagnosed with anxiety is immediately put on medication to control it. Most of the time, it works to take the edge off and make us a bit more functional in every day life. However, simply using medications usually isn’t enough. I have tried going to the gym. The endorphins usually help immensely. A lot of people take up yoga and breathing exercises. Those are supposed to help, I haven’t tried them yet but they are next on the list. I do a lot of things that make me happy. For me, writing, singing, and coloring in my adult coloring books are very comforting. In addition to all of these things, I have found talk therapy to be the greatest tool and worth every penny. Having a therapist who is constantly on your side and there to just let you talk without ever once judging you or blaming you for the condition you’re in, is the most freeing experience. I highly suggest it to anyone struggling with an anxiety disorder.

9. We WILL overcome it.

But it will take time. Fighting anxiety is a never-ending battle with frequent slip ups and breakdowns along the way. I am still in the process personally, and it is not easy. At all. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life. And I have been through a lot. Anxiety however, takes the cake. Learning how to fight my own brain and reroute my own thoughts is by far the most difficult task anyone has ever asked me to complete.  But these thoughts, the ones that are not truly yours are poison in your soul and they will destroy you if you don’t overcome them. But on those days when you can mark a check in the win category, you feel like you can take on the world. That’s what the fight is all about. We want every day to feel that way and we won’t stop until every day does. 

So here’s the thing. Anxiety is pretty heavy and scary stuff. It is not a visible injury but that doesn’t make it any less legitimate. We need people in our lives who are willing to help us and support us and understand that we need a lot of that help and support. We won’t think any less of you if you don’t think you can handle the commitment of being a part of our lives, but we do ask that you do not get our hopes up and let them down. So when we say “I have anxiety” here’s what we really mean. Treat us nicely. Be patient with us. Support us. Know that everything we do, we are thinking about how it effects you. We are fighting for our lives every day, understand that. We are a handful and we know it. We are not always easy to have in your life but if you let us, if you choose us, we will always be there for you. We will never forget the way you held on when most people would let go. When we say “I have anxiety” we are both warning you what you are in for and thanking you for choosing us anyway.

What we mean when we say “I have anxiety”

77 thoughts on “What we mean when we say “I have anxiety”

  1. Sue L says:

    Great points! I also think it’s worth mentioning, for me anyway, how much of what I feel is embarrassment by my anxiety. I wish I wasn’t so ashamed of it, it feels like weakness. I know people think I look weak.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sue L says:

    Great points! Also worth mentioning, for me anyway, is how much of what I feel is embarrassment about my anxiety. I can’t help but feel ashamed that my emotions can be so crippling. I feel like what people see is weakness. They see me as weak, and all I do is try to stay strong. And maybe they’re right.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi, I’m an editor at HuffPost. I just read this powerful piece. Would you be interested in re-posting it on our site? I think readers would really connect with it. Please reach out if you have any questions! hayley[dot]miller[at]huffingtonpost[dot]com. Hope to hear from you!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ” When anxiety hits, I am frozen. I can get up and go through the motions of my day but my brain is elsewhere, held captive by whatever demon is inhabiting me this time. I cannot think about anything except my inability to think or breathe or feel.”

    it feels so relieving to know someone else feels the same way i do. i just posted about facing the stigma of anxiety last night. i can relate to everything you just said. it is something that people don’t take seriously or think you have three heads. thank you for sharing this!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. CLC says:

    Great article. I was diagnosed at 22 with anxiety. I am now 45 years old. It was a battle I fought everyday of my life. Afraid of being afraid. I could go on and on… But it was explained very well in this article. What I do want to say, is that I am a fighter and about 90% happier than I’ve ever been. I was also recently (3 yrs) diagnosed with Bipolar. Which anxiety is always a part of it. With great therapists and medications, I am mostly free of anxiety. It rears its ugly head occasionally, but is manageable. I always say that “I have come back to earth”. Only way for me to explain it. Good luck to all of you who suffer. If I can get to this place,
    anyone can 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Trevor Kozak says:

      It’s true what you say about sharing thoughts and feelings through texts (or online) because it feels safer to do so. It can be very easy, but it can also attract the attention of trolls. Be careful who you share with, because you can still get hurt. Good luck.


    2. mythinkingthing says:

      Hi Mackenzie, I’ve had anxiety since I was a little kid so I understand what you’re going through. I would say that this does not define you, you are not anxiety. Try to think about the good in your life, have you good family to tell? And try to stay present in the moment. 🙂


    3. Adam says:

      Keep fighting through it. Dont give up. Find what works for you. Working out has really helped me. It was hard at first but has gotten better with time.


    4. Carol says:

      Mackenzie keep texting, keep writing, it helps. It is the only way that I can get the important things said to the people I care about. I also use this when I am “talking” to doctors. I can write what I can never say.


  6. I’ve only just been diagnosed with anxioty and depretion but I feel it’s anxioty more I feel drained all the time constant worry that bad things are going to happen I am always day dreaming at work like I’m not even with it constantly getting pulled in to the office because I’m not functioning properly so I get worse were I can’t sleep at night thinking wat am I gonna get rong for next it just goes on and on and trust in a relationship well constant thourts running threw ya head I just want it all to stop I couldn’t say the last time I was happy coz I can’t remember


  7. Angie says:

    Im speechless. Everything I read In this article is all the same symptoms that my oldest son has. We tried several doctors and they haven’t diagnostic him with this disease at all. He has been struggling with this anxiety attacks for about 3 years with his bipolar attitude also. Thank you for sharing this article. Now I must understand what he’s been going thru. I must keep helping him seek the help he needs.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Julie hay says:

      I wish someone would have helped me reach this diagnosis earlier in life. I have suffered with crippling panic attacks, and battled many demons being diagnosed bipolar and also with anxiety/depression. The good news is there are so many options, and so many things that can help. What works the most for me is meditation, talk therapy, and sometimes medication. Be supportive of your son, and try not to be judgemental, if we could help this, we would. On a positive note, there is hope for a good life. I am pretty happy, healthy, and live a good life. I am a great mother, good friend, and a successful nurse. Be patient, try different options, and let him know you’ll be there always. Good luck.


  8. Anxiety is all about the mind and over activity. And yes, Exercise at least once a day, everyday even twice a day! Meditation is a MUST..you have to Stop!..The mind needs to Stop! Overwhelm is a large part, and we do it do ourselves, especially Women, we always have to do everything, and do it perfect. Healthy eating, no alcohol or refined sugar, minimum Caffeine intake no stimulants. I have anxiety disorder, and am a survivor. It is “work” to keep it in check, but I do what I have to do. No excuses ( which I hear a lot from people ). I hope everyone helps themselves, because medications and other people can’t help you, you have to want to help yourself. You are not a Victim.


  9. Miriam Mandelstam says:

    “I have anxiety” does not mean getting nervous before a date, stressing out because you’re not ready for your coursework deadlines, worrying about UCAS and interviews. Anxiety is an illness, and it doesn’t just go away once the stressful circumstances I just mentioned do. I thought this article highlights that really well.


    1. mythinkingthing says:

      I can’t see anxiety as an illness, because then I am placing myself as a victim. Nowadays people call anxiety, depression and so on illnesses or diseases.


  10. AG says:

    Hey Guys,

    If you are battling wth anxiety, I recommend you to read a book called “at last a life” I think the author is called Paul David. That book changed my life and has immensely helped my anxiety. Good luck!


  11. Beverly says:

    This article has described me pretty good.
    For me getting closer to God, in the mist of this relentless storm of life, only he can truly heal.
    I have a lifetime of reasons for anxiety, many reasons why, trumatic events that play out in my subconscious mind. It’s up to me to work through this with the help of God.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I just have a question about anxiety for anyone who can answer it for me please l have a daughter in law who has anxiety and l,m trying to us stand her but she has disrespect me many times and my husband ,and my son who’s she with ,they have a 6 mth old baby boy out first grandson l,m so worry for him how this will aflix him later in life ,as l,m not aloud to babysit him or either is his father please help me up stand this


    1. Beverly Leslie says:

      First of all as grandparents you have the right to see your grandchildren.
      Anxiety may or may not affect the child, I would think not but I’m not a doctor. Alot of people have anxieties but get professional help and or take meds.
      As for your grandchild, you can go to court to get grandparents rights to see him.


    2. coffeegirl says:

      If she has anxiety it’s likely that she CAN’T let anyone else watch her baby. I also had PPD on top of my anxiety disorder and I couldn’t let anyone watch my son either.

      I don’t know her, so I certainly can’t say for sure, but she also is probably not disrespecting you. I am basing this on my interactions with my in-laws. It’s not that I don’t want to talk with them; I can’t. My throat feels like it swells shut, my muscles tighten so much my chest hurts, I can’t move my jaw, I flush, my head spins, and I feel out of body. I know my mother-in-law is judging me and it just makes it worse.

      I hope you really do want to understand and help her.


  13. Joy V. says:

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for this article. It was so spot on that it made me teary.
    My therapist says that I can’t own the anxiety (I almost wrote “my anxiety”), but have to rephrase it as “the anxiety that I suffer from”. I’m working on that….
    Thanks again.


  14. Elaine says:

    You know I’m always here. I understand you and do not judge you in any way. If you ever want to come and just sit or talk, please call me or just drop by iif I am home. Love you just the way you are and am willing to help any way I can.


  15. I have anxiety about the well being of my children. I freak about heights. I worry about falling items. Most recently I worry about my son seeing a ghost, or aparitions. He’s 5 so the stories he tells me can go either true or phantasm. Either way I’m ok, yet slightly unerverd. But the whole debilitating anxiety disorder many described is manic depression not anxiety. Anxiety makes your heart race and gives you palpatations. Not, oh, I can’t deal with the world today. That my friends is depression. If you’re on a roller coaster and feel good, then down. Hello depression. Anxiety, anxious, you don’t blow off people cause you feel shitty. You blow off people cause dealing with them and the outside of your home freaks you out enough to call an ambulance. But don’t cause you know you created the scare in you head but have no control. That is real anxiety. Not I have anxiety today so I don’t have to do something later. I have anxiety now and can’t figure out how to get through the next hurdle. Depression is the repitition of hopelessness, but different outcone


    1. I’m am sorry, but you are inaccurate in your comment. Anxiety is in fact a disease which needs to be treated by professional psychiatrists or psychologists. It is normal to feel anxiety surrounding a specific event: speaking in public, vour child competing in a sporting event, moving, starting a new job, or many other things that you find stressful. But it is the level of disability as well as the lack of a specific trigger which brings this to the level of a disease. It may be accompanied by depression or bi-polar disease, but is a very real condition.


      1. mythinkingthing says:

        It is wrong to call anxiety or any mental issues a disease. It depends what your definition of disease it. It is certainly a real condition but I honestly feel labelling contributes to the person feeling the victim. People seem to think that these days we need to be discussing mental issues all of the time to remove stigma but what they don’t realise it that using these kind of words highlights problems even further. I like to say I have a different personality to people with no anxiety, because they could have other small mental issues – are they diseased then? Everyone is different and we all have issues. Just my take on it.


      2. mythinkingthing says:

        I want to ask people something related to anxiety – at least I think it is. Each day I get a range of symptoms starting with a very tender tongue, like I’ve been licking sandpaper all day, sometimes I get little blisters on it, my chest gets heavy and it feels my throat is slightly closing which makes it difficult to breathe easy. I sometimes get very sleepy with this and have a feeling of butterflies in my tummy – but very strong, like sometimes so strong it hurts. If I lie down for a while it eases off a bit but other than that there’s nothing I can do. I have tried everything but I feel that this is a mental AND physical thing. I don’t know. It starts every day around 2/3pm and lasts till I go to bed, for the past 4 years. Can anyone, at all relate to this?


    2. mythinkingthing says:

      It’s quite difficult to understand alot of your comment as it’s written haphazardly and in a disjointed way, it doesn’t make sense but something you did say – anxiety is manic depression – what does that actually mean? Anxiety and manic depression (which is now called bipolar) are different things although if you are bipolar you will feel anxious at some point. There are different types of anxiety depending on your situation and not being able to deal with the world is not exclusive to depressives, people with anxiety feel that way too.


  16. This is honestly one of the truest posts I’ve ever read during my time blogging. I also suffer with anxiety disorder, and in fact I read this article because I’m feeling like it right now. It’s such an awful and unwanted feeling, I would never wish it upon anyone. Thank you for such an insightful post to make others aware how we feel. Everything you said was so correct and accurate! Amazing post.


  17. Thank you for this. My 15 year old
    daughter has anxiety and has never been able to articulate her feelings so clearly. I think I shall be a better mom to her because of this article, and I will share it with the people in her life who love her so much but struggle to understand. I wish you the best with your journey and hope you enjoy your good days to the fullest.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Patty says:

    Truly a daily struggle and very lonely. It has brought me to the lowest level of my life. I’ve lost a lot and I feel like even my doctor doesn’t believe me even though I have had two strokes. Even after working (struggling) at my job for 30 years I qualify for no help in Canada, I have no income, can’t drive and it’s a struggle every day but I was told over and over get a job you can do. .?? I have given up.


  19. Tina says:

    Wow. My 12 year old son has been struggling with severe anxiety and this is THE best, most truthful article that I’ve read explaining exactly how anxiety controls people. (Trust me, I’ve read a lot!) It was a relief to read that some of the things he is experiencing are normal for people suffering from anxiety. I saw that Huffpost even wants to publish this blog- congrats, great job!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. BA says:

    This article just made me tear up. Anxiety is also the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with and its even harder when people don’t understand, but it’s good to know we aren’t alone. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I am 32 years old and I hAve anxiety. I experience some of those symptoms. I also have other symptoms like as if I can’t breath. I mean out of no where I can be driving and all the sudden. My breathing gets faster. I feel like I can’t breath I start looking for hospital signs because I think I’m going to die. It happened so many times where I deci ded to jus ride the bus. And it happened there too. I always think that somethings bad is going to happen. And I have to think of ways to get out. If I’m in a building I have an escape plan jus in case. On and on if this happens or that happens I’m going to do or that. I feel like I want to pass out. And everyone I talk about it I start crying and sum people looks at me if I’m crazy. And always I feel crazy. Like there something wrong with me. I feel fine at times and sometimes I feel lost, scared, and alone. I been on xanax for awhile it seems to help but the problem is still there. I’m dealing with this everyday and it’s still a struggle.


  22. Beverly says:

    I believe the more you say you have anxiety and tell others you have anxiety, you are taking ownership of it. I don’t tell anyone any such thing, other than my doctor. It’s not you or who you are. I’ve learned that trauma created through life gets buried in our subconscious mind and creates anxiety and other illnesses. Getting closer to got is the true answer, along with other therapy until you faith has a chance to grow.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. I am a therapist and approximately 75% of my practice consists of clients suffering with anxiety. I ran a group about 2 years ago that was very helpful to the people who attended it. I think the most helpful part of the group was showing the participants that there were others who were experiencing the same thing that they were. Since this group ended I have been unable to get another group together. People call and say they want to attend, but rarely do people follow through and actually show up. Being in the presence of others who are experiencing the same thing as you can be a very healing experience. My question to those suffering from anxiety is, how can I make my groups more appealing? What can I do or say to get people to attend an anxiety support or educational group?


  24. CJ says:

    so advice if I have close non romantic friend who has anxiety who says that she is not up to going out to do something is it helpful for me to offer to stick round and watch a movie with her or read a book around her


  25. Sheryl Groom says:

    I have done extensive reading on spirit attachments…spirits that don’t cross over after they have passed. They can enter your energy field and affect you greatly. They estimate 80% of people are affected by them. A cross dresser for example can be a male with a female attachment. Someone who commits suicide and doesn’t cross will attach to a person and make them feel very sad,the emotion they were in when they died.
    I once had a girl tell me about her anxiety, she said “they are trying to get in.”
    I said “who?”
    She replied “you know,the spirits. They want in.”
    I was shocked!
    I had never related the two,but it did make sense to me.
    Now I’m not saying this is the cause of anxiety,but if you don’t feel like yourself and are drained of energy,it may be worth your while to read up on this phenomena.


  26. Bill says:

    There is a book I would highly recommend called “the power of now” by Eckhart Tolle, this book is perfect, and it’s benefits cannot be put into words, it is not a fad is is a global movement……


  27. Jana says:

    This is my life. Thank you! Does anyone get anxious when they get excited for something too? It sounds weird but im finding my anxiety will overtake the excitement turning it into a full on anxiety attack. As i look forward to something and it gets closer and closer my anxiety becomes intense causing me to shut down and avoid the good things in life. Why cant i just look forwrd to something and be happy without getting so anxious????


  28. Don says:

    Looks like everyone knows what anxiety is & recognizes we have it. Looks like we get it for different reasons. How to handle it is the issue. Things that have helped me. Going back to church! Praying to God. Reading has helped. Talking about it to my best friend who has it for a different reason but I didn’t know that till I started talking to him. Realizing that the person that caused me to have this doesn’t have any morals or standards. The other person doesn’t give a damn about me or my feelings. Consequently being rational about that has made me reflect on the kind of people I want in my life. So I have chosen to surround myself with good people. True friends/aquantences. People with similar interests. Positive things no matter how small. It is harder than hell to get this to go away as I have had health issues at the same time that has compounded the problem. I think just staying true to yourself, knocking down the walls issue by issue knowing God will help me if everyone else fails will help me win the fight. The glass is always half full it’s never half empty. When your on the bottom there is no where to go but up. It’s like being an addict. Until you admit you personally have a problem you can never get better no matter who talks to you. I believe this will pass with time. Time doesn’t necessarily make everything go away but it does help you heal as it marches on.


  29. Ann says:

    I not only have anxiety but depression and Vertigo. I have been dealing with Vertigo for over 2 years now. Along with migraines that last anywhere from 3 to 6 days straight. This is a great article. Thank you.


  30. Reblogged this on theimportanceofstolling and commented:
    This is a great read!
    To anyone who doesn’t get why I or someone you know can sometimes go out and be a total extrovert and then I disappear, or why I may chat with you at the grocery store for 10 min and then the next week pretend to not see you at the gas station, this is why.


  31. mythinkingthing says:

    Thank you for writing this post, it’s so well written and on point. I have generalised anxiety which means basically I’m anxious practically all of the time. At least I was until I started medication and it has eased a bit. But until then it defined me. I didn’t get panic attacks, I don’t know why but I lived in fear all of the time. Maybe I did get attacks! I can’t think which is worse, wanting to give up on life or being scared and feeling completely alone.
    Be well and focus on the present.x


  32. I know all the things to do to take me out of that feeling! Was not always that way. I remember going to my BFF home to hang out because she always would say “you never come to my house,I always have to come to yours” Well, I would get there and within just a few minutes I could feel the change! Couldn’t breathe properly and my heart would pound like It wanted to get out! I never stayed more than 10 minutes.


  33. Hi Gina,

    Thank you for posting about this important topic. I found that I could very much relate to how you are feeling. So far in my mental health journey I have found acupuncture to be of great help along with yoga nidra. What I love most about these therapies is that they’re natural. I was on medicine for eight years but ultimately it wasn’t for me. Trying to find natural routes has been challenging but also worthwhile. I also recommended guided meditation on Youtube (I really like Jason Stephenson).

    On January 1 of this year, I created a Facebook group called “Hope in Rainbows” where I post mental health inspiration and resources daily. I invite all who may be interested to join.

    Thank you,



  34. Tanja says:

    You say “we”. You should have said “I”. Because the truth of the matter is that YOUR anxieties are not necessarily the same as other people’s anxieties.


  35. Great article. I suffer from anxiety so bad that I break out in hives. Sometimes it affects me so bad that my eyes swell up and looks like I got into a fight. For the longest time I thought it was an allergic reaction to something. I was so tired of being strung out on benadryl feeling like a zombie. Until an emergency room Dr took the time to actually talk to me about my symptoms. He prescribed xanax. Boy did that help. However after a while that stopped working. Now I am on a combo of paxil and atarax (hydroxyzine). And am stable enough to cope with going outside, or dealing with people. I still have anxiety and depression mixed but the combo helps a lot. My anxiety is to the point sometimes where I don’t even want to go to the market. I also have found that my puppies and my games I play on my phone or tablet help to


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