You never plan for heartbreak. And even when you do, you don’t. No matter how many times you tell yourself that you’ll be okay, when heartbreak hits, everything crashes down around you. Everything feels lost, muted, dark.
When you think about it, heartbreak is essentially the mourning of the death of a relationship – a relationship that was alive and vibrant and happy. Then, it just wasn’t. It was dead and now you are forced to mourn the loss you never expected.
Everyone will tell you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel; at the end of the day it won’t hurt as much. They’ll all tell you to pick yourself up and go distract the hell out of yourself. They’ll say to go enjoy your life to forget about whoever it was that broke your heart. They will tell you to move on.
And they’ll be right. But they are not trying to survive a broken heart. They are not feeling the emptiness filling your chest, the blur behind your eyes, the lead dragging your heels against the pavement. They aren’t combating the tears threatening to break the surface.
So I’m here to give you some different advice. Because I am doing those things. I am trying to understand how all of the pieces of my life ended up scattered around me. I too, am trying to find the will to pick them up. So here’s what I think you should do.
Let yourself be sad.
Spend a little time on the floor with all of the pieces. Let yourself cry over every single one of them.
Spend an entire day in bed with ice cream and your memories and some free flowing tears.
Don’t ask anyone for advice. Just don’t. They’ll disappoint you no matter what they say.
Don’t brush your teeth. Don’t take a shower. Wear the same dirty grey sweats you’ve been wearing for two days already.
Disconnect from everything. Do not check social media. Do not talk to anyone. Do not answer your phone. Unless it’s your mom. Always answer your mom.
Did I mention cry? Because really, cry. A lot. Get all of those sad tears, all of those tainted memories, everything that makes you sad to think about, out of your head. Let yourself be sad.
And then pick yourself up. Go take a shower. Get dressed. But do yourself a favor, leave the pieces there. You don’t need those broken pieces anymore. There are plenty of whole ones left in you. You will not feel whole again for a while. But you are not broken. You are still breathing every second of every single day. That breathing? That means that you are still alive. You still have things to do. So take your time and let yourself be sad and then let yourself get back up.